I cant remember me being afraid of my parents coming back home from work or wherever they might have gone to. Rather my brother and I would be more anxious and disturbed if they stayed too long.

I’ve had friends who had similar feelings, and I’ve had other ones who don’t want to see one of their parents. Most times, in these cases, it was the father.

It is normal for a child to wish that his or her parent stay longer than usual or hold up in their coming if something is not going right in the house.

Growing up, my sibling and I did a lot of naughty things, because, like most children, we had this fantasy running wild in our minds, and we were in a hurry to know how to do so many things.

I could remember on a day we planned to make soup, and the only choice of pot was a polish container (children can be very stupid and naive you know). We knew that was not the right material to use and we were not planning to eat the food, because we were aware it could harm us. We just wanted to make soup, stare at it and throw it out with the fulfillment that we have been able to do what my mum always did.

We were both not expecting my mum to come back earlier, and while we were basking in the mood of our cuisine, we heard her voice as she approached the house. Oh my God, we wished she had disappeared that day, because we knew what was coming. But then she got in, saw the shock on her faces first and realised what was happening. She just laughed and laughed.

It is sad, very sad, that some kids do not have the joy of having their parents or one of the two around. Anytime they hear the announcement of such presence, they just get depressed, and everyone gets robotic, charged with fear and anxiety.

I had a friend in secondary school who had a military father. She would tell me how happy she was anytime the father would be leaving the house, and the way she said it, she would be very glad if the father had died at war front. There was a time the father was around and in punishing her for a wrong, he banned the mum from feeding her for a week or giving her any allowance (as in daddy, someone cannot play with you, is that how you used to do???) She practically was feeding in my house for a week and the mother would come to appreciate my mum. My mum was very angry, like very angry. The man could have said that out of anger, but then he held up for the whole week, he didn’t change his mind and didn’t care how she was feeding!

If your arrival in the house means everyone has to be sad, then you have failed in achieving parental fulfillment. Whatever you are doing wrong, listen to corrections, ask questions and make amends.